Sip & Talk: Bach Bash! (Ep2 Recap)

It’s time to do a little Bachelor Bashing! Let’s go over this week’s episode of #TheBachelorette.

Let me just begin by saying that some of these guys appear to be stuck in the sixth grade. Okay, WHAT IS UP with shorty boy Alex? I’m thinking he has Napoleon complex and some serious inferiority issues. What is it to him whether Chad is waiting outside and waits for JoJo? What is the DRAMA!

These guys act like this is a fraternity and they all need to share details about their experience with Joelle. It’s so creepy how they act. That poor girl must be cringing looking back at all these episodes and watching them “be”. OH, AND FOR THE RECORD— I’M STILL TEAM CHAD. This society apparently forgot what a real man should act like. In the words of Brad Paisley:

“These days there’s dudes getting facials
Manicured, waxed and botoxed
With deep spray-on tans and creamy lotiony hands
You can’t grip a tacklebox

With all of these men lining up to get neutered
It’s hip now to be feminized
I don’t highlight my hair
I’ve still got a pair
Yeah honey, I’m still a guy

Oh my eyebrows ain’t plucked
There’s a gun in my truck
Oh thank God, I’m still a guy.”

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I can’t believe she’s kept all these creepy dudes around, still. Can we talk about KIP Russell (aka EVAN the freak)? I’m going to call him KIP RUSSELL. Because he now reminds me of both Russell from True Blood & Kip, Napoleon Dynamite’s brother.

BACHELOR’S THROWING SHADE

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Oh, and then there’s Andi Dorfman I see you girl.

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She doesn’t seem to learn her lesson about the “bad boys”.

Here are my predictions for next week’s elimination:

Is it me, or do you also feel like she’s keeping music man around because she feels bad? She looks at him like he’s a sad puppy you just adopted. I feel bad for him. He’s going to fall hard and he’s going to get the boot. I also think that she is really fighting off feelings for Chad. Looks like she’s taking the advice of the girls before the show began and she’s not giving “much attention” to the guy she has the most feelings for. She is letting him WORKKKK.

Anyway, I’m calling it now— none of these guys are compatible with JoJo. Whoever she picks at the end is going to be another Josh Murray/Andi Dorfman situation. Not going to last. #justsaying #BOYBYE

 

 

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