Bachelor Sleeze

It’s Tuesday— which means I get to talk about last night’s episode of The Bachelor with you all! Yayy! Are you as excited as I am? Maybe.


Let me begin by saying that so far I’ve been on point with the girls. It’s a little freaky, actually— how accurate my predictions have been. Let’s regroup:

My Top Picks:

  1. Joelle “JoJo” (Texas)
  2. Becca (Cali)
  3. Lauren B. (Cali)


  1. Caila (Ohio)
  2. Amanda (Cali)

Everyone else is irrelevant at this point. I don’t even pay attention to them because it’s useless. They’re not going anywhere— except maybe Bachelor in Paradise. Maybe.


Let’s move on to Jubilee. A war veteran afraid of heights who seems to have a lot of suppressed emotions. She’s got me fifty shades of confused as to why she is so hostile with the girls. I really thought she would have a different attitude, but she’s just letting the ratchet out slowly but surely.


Speaking of ratchet, let’s talk about Olivia’s toes and cankles. You have to be on some kind of medication to go up to the guy whose heart you are trying to win over and bitch about your imperfections, all the while he’s dealing with some personal issues. Who does that? Come on, Liv!!! I thought you’d have a little more self-confidence than that!! I really never believed she would win, but I still enjoyed her fearless & slytherin ways! I hope to see her (and her toes) in Paradise. #CantMessWithTexas


Okay— let’s move on to Lauren & Ben’s date. First of all, that airplane kiss was beyond awkward… But then, I must say, they redeemed themselves in the hot tub in that remote area. Very sultry. Except for the fact that she’s got super thin lips. It’s like putting together two sheets of paper. Either way, he seems to be very smitten by her so we’ll see how this plays out. I’m still rooting for Joelle and Bex— they’re just my favorites. I hope at least one of them is the next Bachelorette, should neither win Ben’s heart.


Why do I get the feeling she’s going to make it to like the last two? Ugh. Waaa. This makes my little JoJo/Becca heart shrivel up into a prune. Whatever Ben, WHAT-EVER.





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