The Bachelorette: Liv Tells All

The Bachelorette 2015

Photo Credit: Celebuzz

On this 11th season of The Bachelorette, Britt was once again voted off the show (men’s choice) and Kaitlyn became the one and only OFFICIAL Bachelorette. I really don’t think she is anywhere near ready to get married. Neither her or Britt. I think they are (both) much more prepared for fame than holy matrimony. But that’s besides the point.

Most of the guys in the house are a joke. Some are unbearably ugly and self-centered and others are studs with straw minds. You have those that try too hard and those that don’t try hard enough. There’s a few on the show who I really cannot stand the sight of. Here are the cringe-worthy guys in my book:

  • Corey— he looks like an old Ken doll. And that’s not a compliment.
  • Jared— ughh. He makes me REALLY cringe. Feo apestoso.
  • JJ— insert annoyed face emoji in here. Why is he still on the show? Can’t stand him.
  • Joe— Something about his face makes me frown.
  • Nick V— Three words: Creeper, Psycho, Weasel.

Who I am rooting for… (in order)

  1. Ben Z.
  2. Ben H.
  3. Shawn B.
  4. Joshua (only because he welds). Honest man.

The following is my take on who Kaitlyn will choose as her Top 5:

  • Ben Z.
  • Shawn B.
  • Jared
  • Nick
  • Ben H. / Chris the dentist (I can’t tell which one she likes more just yet)

As you can seen, there are several guys which I didn’t even mention. I feel indifferent about them. Don’t think any of the them will make it to the final rounds. I’m shocked at the number of guys there are left with the show being so early on in the game. Feels like we’ve only had one rose ceremony and there’s like 10 guys left by the 4th episode. They’re dropping like flies. Speaking of flies and annoying things— the dentist kind of annoys me. His bleach white smile gives me a headache. It’s too much. And then there was his portrayal of ‘Aladdin’ during the Broadway rehearsal. I wanted to throw something at my TV while watching it. He tries to hard ALL THE TIME. But enough of him.

Let’s talk about the season promo— yes, the one where Kaitlyn admits she slept with one of the guys. Based on what the promo shows, I think it was Jared. I also think the thought of it makes me want to vomit.

Season promo screen shot

Season promo screen shot

Above is a screen shot I took from the promo. You can’t deny the Frodo ears and awful haircut belong to Jared. Perhaps this is just a trick and this was not really the scene where she sleeps with one of the guys. I would think that out of all the guys, the only one weasel enough to pull a stunt like this would be Nick. That guy is like your stage 5 clinger. I don’t know what these girls see in him. Maybe they like his ‘dapper’ style and the fact that he’s 6’2. I’m sure he is very smart too. He’s obviously gotten this far with ABC producers. The guy plays his cards right.

Nick Viall & Andi Dorfman

Nick Viall & Andi Dorfman (Season 10/ The Bachelorette)

But here’s what you didn’t know about Nick:

  • He’s athletic. During his senior year at Waukesha North High School, Viall won state in the 800-meter run at the 1999 WIAA Track And Field Championship. He went on to run track for the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee (as team captain), setting a school record for the 3,200-meter relay. Nick now resides in Chicago and works as an Account Executive for salesforce.com. Yawn. 
Britt Nilsson & Brady Toops

Britt Nilsson (and her pata sucia) + Brady Toops

Anyway, let’s backtrack for a minute. So Britt, being the wannabe Hollywood starlet that she is, gave her best pouty faces and ‘focused’ looks, but that obviously didn’t impress the majority of the (male) participants. Except that bashful musician, Brady, who left the show to go find her. He’s kind of a girly boy, but whatever. Apparently, Britt and him are now dating. I imagine he must play his guitar for her on the daily. For the last time, NO ONE cares about Britt and Brady including Britt and Brady.

Moving on…

Can I just point out something that has been on my mind since Episode 1? Did the producers all get together this season and say “let’s bring in guys that look like celebrity hybrids!”? I think so. Most of these men look like someone from Hollywood or a combination of two. Below is a compilation of real Hollywood men and our fellow Bachelors. Enjoy!

Clint

Clint

Joe

Joe

Jared

Jared

Brady

Brady

Shawn B.

Shawn B.

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